When I first became a mother, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was raised. Today’s post is an effort to discuss the various discipline techniques for kids that work. Talking of natural consequences, these are the time when you let your child know what will happen if he or she doesn’t behave – the main concept is to let nature runs its course where appropriate. Be proactive, not reactive. Nothing works better than doing things with love and understanding. Ah…I would love to know what the 1 year old taught you or did she make you lose all your techniques! Loved and appreciated children grow up into confident individuals. Actually we cannot blame their ways because that’s perhaps what they learnt from their parents or knew only that way. It is much easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. But your post did ignite my past memories where papa was too strict (he is even now) and punished severely. . No, I did not control or manipulate anybody to solve the problem. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. Again, some parents know this way, while others know the flogging way, especially the in generations gone by, but not their fault, as perhaps that was the only way they knew. I have seen very polite children and some very rude ones, it looks like its down to parenting. “Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.” ~ Bill Ayers. Happy to find this another and informative post here form your side. I taught my kids from their early years, “cooperation makes it happen.” When they behaved, we could do fun things such as go to the park or beach. It a break from the tension of the present moment and involves physically removing your child from a problematic situation. I named that app The Best App Ever! Thanks for the amazing post. there are some things he’ll do wrong, worn him/her with your serious face but with a cool and calm voice. Haven’t heard of the book, but would surely look it up, thanks for mentioning it here, and it does sound interesting. A little off and on light spank is alright I think, sometimes you need that if kids get out of hand, but not the real spanking, slapping, hitting or other such things are good. Table of Contents What is DisciplineImportance of Discipline in ChildrenParenting StyleEffective Discipline Techniques For Children1- Create Diversions2- Reward…. Discipline means to follow the rule and regulation. However, I won’t say I am one of the softest dads either , My boys know when I am not happy (which happens more often than not since they are that age) and I introduced a point system to penalize them when they need to be and that brings my blood pressure down while keeps them safer . I don’t know if schooling fits the scope of this post but I would like to mention our maths teacher and let me tell u he was hitler (lol). We can get a whole lot more towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. AS for toys that needed put away when they were little, I had a box and at the end of the day if they wouldn’t put them away they went into the box. Lol…must be some interesting lessons of life your younger one taught you for sure . However, hitting is never a good thing. Once you define the lines and aren’t prepared to compromise, I don’t see any reason why your child or children won’t follow suit! I am so mush impressed by your last point of taking away privileges, I totally agree with that. I am not happy when I see parents who spoil their children, trying to bribe them for good behavior. be the best parent we can possibly be for our children, From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach Effective Discipline Techniques, So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Hello Harleena! My first baby is 4 and the second just arrived (1 month), You have offered a lot of meat even before getting to the real subject of the post. This is great information for parents, Harleena. Explain to your child that the consequences are for bad behavior, and mean what you say. Effective discipline requires that parents are able to recognize whether a battle is worth the fight. If your child is less than a year in age, you shouldn’t ideally be thinking of disciplining your child! At least those training have made me a better me…, Back here we don’t do grounding because grounding children are for the rich (so they think) . Once they do that, kids too are prepared and even parents would be able to deal with things without really getting angry as it was all discussed earlier, so even kids know what’s expected ahead. I agree that it’s tough to decide what discipline technique to adopt after the child misbehaves, especially when the child or parent is angry. Today’s modern parents do not have the patience to deal with understanding the problems they face with their children. I never really tried out the time-out method with my kids or had a soft heart to punish the little ones way back then, but yes, loss of privilege worked wonders with them, and it does even now…lol..even though they are much older. They made up, hugged as well as begun playing once more happily. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may seem to work temporarily. Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) So, you are certainly on the right lines there , Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Some work only when they are bribed and not otherwise. Catch them being good. Harleena, Thanks for a great post. Yes, parenting the right way is important, and though no parent or child is perfect – both sides have to make an effort to make things work for the betterment of the child, isn’t it? It’s the most effective form of parenting. Sometimes she would sit herself in the chair, because she thought she did something wrong. Ah…I can well understand what you mean, and that’s the age when they start showing signs of doing things on their own. I know how and what all you must be going through with two small kids that age – it’s certainly not east. The positive discipline strategies teachers use to help kids listen, learn and grow: 1. I agree with you there, it surely is and I think it’s the best way for both, parents and kids. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences and words of wisdom with us. I have tried all these techniques but I feel each child is different and we have to change according to their response. Working & Effective Discipline Techniques – Best Practices Yes, at times the behavior of your kids often makes it harder. Though I am a teenager and neither I have to do anything with parenting as of now nor I face such restrictions now. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to quit the power struggle before it starts! One of mine was that way and I just used a little dab of soft soap. • Empathize with his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I became good friends with him and soon learned the truth. Still, we have our moments where I need to (ahem) encourage them to change their behavior a bit. The commentluv plugin isn’t working due to the recent WordPress update I did and I’ve complained to the support for resolving that issue – hoping for the best. What are the most effective methods? That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. It depends on the individual kid and parents and things need to be balanced. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if required. Since I have small children and sometimes you feel that you are out of control, this is a timely advice. Be mindful of what you say and how you say it — not just when you are talking to your child, but when dealing with others as well. We called Alan 'lucky'. And parents should differentiate between them, while reward (and not punishment) is a positive reinforcement, but focusing more on intangible rewards than paying either by pocket money, or toys, or any tangible goods for that matter, is not recommended. My parents never hit me We've always communicate Teaching them since they are Discipline teaches your child to follow rules. Now what to say as I am still unmarried :). I agree with you there, though with hit and trial parents have to eventually work out parenting techniques that work best for them and their child. . Effective Discipline Techniques. Effective Discipline Techniques for Children The Purpose of Discipline: Part 1 * *This is a continuation of our Counselor Skills Series, where we share some of the specific training we do with our counselors to make sure that your children enjoy the benefit of getting to know exceptional role models while at camp. My kids too did that till they reached their teens and now they have their mood swings when they would do a lot on certain days, while on the others, they just won’t listen! Thanks for writing this , I agree with you there, and such was the case more so with our parents and generations earlier. Have rules: It is important to have a basic set of rules for students to follow. What a nice topic to go with the week . "7 Self-Discipline Techniques" courtesy of Pandiyan. Yes, sometimes parents have to do that – shout on the top of their voice (I do that sometimes to get things done when my kids don’t listen, if I’ve repeatedly told them to do something and they don’t do it! In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) I taught my daughter at a very young age to sit at the table and eat properly. If we desire our teen to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Now under the training of my one year old grand daughter…learning modern lessons!!! However, with time, such kinds of punishments where you hit the child are reducing. Spanking lightly is still alright, though I’ve never done that with my kids – just a stern voice was enough for them. #3: Effective discipline is about modeling the right behavior In addition to offering positive reinforcement, modeling appropriate behavior is equally important. There are two types of consequences – natural and logical. From the first sensible approach to rule making and controling, it will provide valuable insights into effective discipline. An effective discipline techniquesis not about forcing the child to corporate but guiding and teaching them to obey. Positive discipline techniques are better because they focus on encouragement and problem solving rather than on threats, fear of punishment, and/or shame. Although childhood discipline is an important issue for parents, this topic is seldom emphasized by family physicians during well-child examinations. I guess you need to asses both, how they act with others and with you because some kids are smart and will behave well in-front of others, but not in-front of you . Yes, there is some problem with the CommentLuv not working that occurred after I updated the WordPress to the latest version and I’m trying to work it through with Andy and his support team. Kids who are bribed tend to learn to manipulate their parents and work their way to gain more bribes. • Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and also valued, • Encouraging kids to establish self-restraint, • Going much deeper than plain outward conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart. They certainly need to be handled with care through such techniques. Effective Discipline Techniques. By the way Awesome tips by you. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. I’ve begun to recognize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. It was a hard number of years. Parents has provide good materialistic life to their kids and this thing can make them irresponsible. Here they are, in alphabetical order (so you won't think I'm ranking them by merit): education; expressing disapproval Discipline problems generally occur when students become disengaged. My mother and father did the best they could, yet they really did not have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Thrusting their anger and tension on their children is yet another mistake parents do. Sound familiar? Don’t you want the same for your kids? Yes, that perhaps works well with babies and young ones. Thanks again and have a wonderful day. I think these days there is too much talk of being nicer, being understanding with kids and gradually the world is producing more whiners than winners because of the mentality shift. The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself. Or wasn’t it something your parents wanted from you when you were a child? Small things like time-outs, grounding, or taking away their privileges for a while teaches them to know their flaws and what they need to do to better themselves. I don’t think any of us went to a school for parenting. That time, physical punishment is the only technique which could stop us by doing wrong. Strategies for Promoting Effective Discipline. As they grow into toddlers, tweens and then teens, thing change. Some parents use discipline techniques like fear, force, intimidation, and punishment to discipline their kids – even for their small kids! It’s even barbaric in my book My mother had given me some spanking at times, but never slapped me in the face. Hope you’re having a great week! Be a role model and show your child the alternative behavior that you want your child to change. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us, and glad you liked these discipline techniques too . Here are some things that you as a parent can teach your toddler. Set clear rules and follow through with consequences. It wasn’t fun in the beginning but I am grateful for that experience because that is what I believe, made me tough, gave me the power to persevere because no matter how much punishments he gave, I never corrected my course . I agree, we are always so grateful to our parents for bringing us up the way they did, and being parents ourselves today we can understand that it certainly isn’t easy , Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Thanks for stopping by, and I’m glad you liked these effective discipline tips too . I recall seeing these books around our home, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”. I’m sure most of you already use this method! If so, this post should concern each one of you , “Discipline is a symbol of caring to a child. “Children need encouragement like plants need water.” ~ Rudolf Dreikurs. No one wants to be accused of raising spoiled brats or undisciplined children, especially those who don’t listen to you. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree. Carolyn, thank you so much for such wonderful words. Let’s start by first understanding the meaning of discipline. I appreciate you on raising this complex issue! . I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Then go ahead, what are you waiting for. “To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.” ~ Josh Billings. And I believe strongly in positive reinforcement and natural consequences. It isn’t suggested nowadays with such effective parenting techniques, which perhaps we didn’t know about earlier – nor did our parents. Positive discipline techniques are better because they focus on encouragement and problem solving rather than on threats, fear of punishment, and/or shame. But as parents, our job is to teach our children the right way to behave. Everything in moderation is good, and just as Sheryl was mentioning above in her comment, if you can do it all with love, then it’s all the more better, isn’t it? • Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … After all, what occurs when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over? What we do with kids, isn’t something that works well with teens. Sometimes I had to add the tone in my voice just a little, but it worked. Absolutely! Kids really need our attention, pat in the back, encouraging words than anything else! Sometimes parents are rude again sometime they are very normal. The other kind is the unacceptable or logical consequence, which are linked to the behavior of the child. Reward alone doesn’t set clear guidelines, and I find it very difficult to choose a consequence that fits. It’s the process of teaching your child about what type of behavior is satisfactory and what is not satisfactory. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views , WOW! So, are you ready to use these techniques to discipline your child? Glad you liked the post and could relate to it. But I’m grateful there are many other options to choose from when a certain situation warrants a different method. I’m not particularly good with reward-punishment. Chris Hondros/Getty Images. 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